tussels in brussels

opiumandtea @ 2006-05-23T18:29:00

2006-05-23T22:30:07Z

new journal: la_bourgeoise

opiumandtea @ 2006-05-06T23:06:00

2006-05-07T03:08:26Z

IN CASE ANYONE FORGOT

DEANNE IS AMAZING

and so is kathy for sending me an email wishing me good luck on the show!

opiumandtea @ 2006-04-30T14:12:00

2006-04-30T18:12:49Z

lolololololz. i just signed up for war canoe.

opiumandtea @ 2006-04-15T22:54:00

2006-04-16T03:16:07Z

remember when we opened books instead of turning on the television to relax and turn off our minds?
do you remember what a night without a keyboard feels like?
can you remember what a phone call involves?
whenwasyourlastoriginalthought?

remember when communication involved two people in the same room actually speaking to one another?
do you remember when thank you letters were written by hand not sent with an ...@hotmail.com?
can you remember how to spell without skipping letters?
didyournewestfriendcomefromthruacomputerscreen?

everythinghastobefastereasiercheaperwithoutabreathorbreakinbetweenanythingwecanneverrelaxevenwithallourmodernconvenienceswemustalwaysbeontosomethingmorealwaysconnectedandpluggedintoamachinethatiscausingourworldmoreharmthangoodbutitissupposedtobesomucheasierthiswaysowhyshouldwebothertomesswithitright?

think your own thoughts.
read the books of generations past.
open your eyes.
go outside.
slow the fuck down.

no wonder we chuck bombs across the earth and fly planes into buildings
for all our great technologies
we are less human
than the machines we create
they process our thoughts and feelings for us
its so much easier

i'm done. i'm out.

opiumandtea @ 2006-04-12T21:20:00

2006-04-13T01:26:12Z

Urinetown The Musical performed by the Toronto Youth Theatre (with sets by me!)
Buy tickets! See the show! Admire the sets!

http://www.torontoyouththeatre.org/tickets.html

(seriously flist, i expect everyone who lives in or around Toronto to be there. There will be a quiz. And if you dont go, my face will permanantly look like this: :[ which is very unnatractive. SO COME! PLEASE!)

opiumandtea @ 2006-04-11T20:31:00

2006-04-12T00:31:45Z

www.pandora.com

that site is amazing. type in any band/musical artist and they will hook you up with similar music. it's super awesome just try it!

opiumandtea @ 2006-04-03T21:09:00

2006-04-04T01:13:10Z

i heard from a girl who knows your cousin's ex-girlfriend's friend that you ran around topless...as a child.
i know someone who knows someone who fishes with someone who kills people...in a videogame.
i saw someone who charters the flights for someone who works with Julia Roberts' publicist...when she needs a coffee.

we played broken telephone with the campers during march break. but then again, they were five years old.

opiumandtea @ 2006-03-31T06:57:00

2006-03-31T12:06:28Z

"its over kid, i'm out of here."
"but i thought we had something moving faster than love in plaster."
"the wall we plastered last year is cracking again, you should fix that."
"baby, i had faith in you."
"thats what..." the flick of a lighter interrupting, "Jesus is for. and trust me, if i have to die for anyone's sins, it'll be my own." [exeunt]

opiumandtea @ 2006-03-29T16:10:00

2006-03-29T21:34:28Z

here's some advice from a friend who should take it herself, haha:
"search for a functional mate"
take that as you will :P

ummmm, so from now on, this is a literary/art journal. comments are appreciated. material posted may or may not be fiction and will mostly consist of pointless ramblings and terrible poetry, so read at your own risk friends.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

she takes the stairs two at a time, never pausing. you get the sense she lives life that way as well; stepping over things she doesn't care to know or acknowledge. shes a recluse, a mystery. if you watch her carefully though (almost to the point of obsession or stalking), you'll notice a pattern. her hair always changes at strategic points in her life. she marks a turning point in her behaviour by a haircut or dye job. its as though the change of thoughts in her brain need to express themselves and be seen through her hair follicles, and need a visible sign to let themselves go. there she is again, easing up every second step as though it were a void, before disappearing between two bodies - the gap hardly larger than an arms width - with the same simplicity as she took with the stairs. you notice the hair. a buzz cut retracting to an ivory scalp and then shes gone forever. perhaps her brain had exploited all its thoughts once and for all.

"Adrian, at camp we keep our pants on"

2006-03-14T23:20:31Z

Ok, so what to say....

While my mind was having a breakdown last week, it seems my body has decided to crash on me this week. Sunday was spent throwing up, and then a little visitor came along this morning as well.

Camp, while very difficult/unorganized/unruly/overcrowded yesterday, has since become a very valuable experience for me. I have the pleasure of getting the red group, which is the youngest group, ages 4 to 6 and are all absolutely adorable. Anything amuses them. And they are all most of the time in a good mood, with wonky smiles and lots of energy. I want to take Adrian and Ioana and Harrison all home with me.

I feel like I'm in a movie. As with most periods of time longer than a moment but shorter than eternity, I can liken working as a camp counsellor to some sort of film. This one wouldn't be the one that changes your entire outlook on life, but it would be better than that stupid teen movie you watched last week or some hollywood film about the american underdog who rises to the top. Not as a good as a french film, but maybe on the same wavelength as a british comedy.

Tomorrow I plan to have a music day. We're going to make shakers and I'll bring my guitar. I kind of can't wait.

opiumandtea @ 2006-03-02T13:40:00

2006-03-02T19:24:05Z

ok. I'm bored, which means I'm going to do one of those things where you choose 10 people and say things to/about them that you'd never tell them in person. let the fun begin!

1. I saw a car the other day, and the driver looked like an older version of you. suddenly I felt like I was back ten years ago, and we were best friends and we were both so cute. you'd make me crowns and earrings and kiss me on the cheek. I kind of miss all that. I dont even know where you are now. Mentor as I last heard. you never were a very smart kid, always going to the extra help. it's too bad we lost touch and you became such an asshole. we were the best tag-team duo ever.

2. I used to get bored alot when I was around you. but then, I get bored around alot of people. you are sort of pathetic though - I think you bore many people besides myself. really, you're a good person you know. I'm just not very fond of "good" people. you get what you see with people like that - there's no mystery. I guess the same sort of applies for you. but dont get me wrong, you're still pretty neat.

3. Woaaaaaaah. what can I say to you that you dont already know? I think there's alot you dont know about me and I'm rather reluctant to let you in. I'm not at all the person you think I am - sorry to disappoint you. all this shit that I've pulled on you - it's just the tip of the iceberg dear. but oh well. I should warn you though, we are both digging our graves on this one. but as long as we're doing that, we might as well have fun in the process, right? I think you're pretty amazing, at least most of the time, I just wish you'd talk to me. confide in me a bit more or something, or else I might start to feel too disconnected from you.

4. HolycrapdoIevermissyou! I dont get what is going on with you at all right now, but I wish you'd let me know. I really want to be there for you, cause I refuse to lose you like other people. I hadn't realised it at the time, but you are one of my best friends (<----I'll call you that even though I abhor those two words together). I think we may have some unfinished business as well that we need to sort out before the shit hits the fan.

5. I miss you too really. at the end of this all, I dont want you to hate me, cause even though I may not act like it all the time - I'd really like it if we could just be friends again. it was both of our faults. you should have said something, I should have asked instead of assuming. sometimes I hear a song, any number of songs, and I can pinpoint the first time I heard it to some time with you. we had a pretty fun groove going on for a while there. I still think we should try to be friends again. and if you read this, and realise its you, drop me a line, and maybe we'll hang out sometime or something.

6. You worry the crap out of me sometimes. I want you to be happy and hyper and artsy all the time! I hate it when you're upset, because I feel like there's nothing I can do to help. or that you dont want my help. lean on me kid, you know I'm always up for a bitch session about whatever's bothering you. we've had so much fun in the past, and I know you'll be someone I'll always want to be friends with. you fascinate me. and you'd better believe that you're fucking beautiful as well, because everyone can see it but you.

7. You're one cool kid, you know that? course you do. I haven't seen you in a while, but no matter. you are one of the greatest people I have ever met - I dont care what other people think - you really really are. I'd pretty much do you in a minute. yeah. hahahaha. (it helps that you're pretty smokinnnng too.)

8. All I can say is that you totally and completely changed my life. you are the most honest, fun, intelligent, witty, dramatic, gay drug addict I know. I hate the way we became friends simply because it was sad, but from then on....what can I say really? the best times I have ever had, the happiest I've ever been have all been because of you. it doesn't even matter what we're doing - when it's me and you, you know it's going to be a kicking time. I loved it because it was always you and me versus the world. what did it matter if we were breaking five different laws at once and that I had an exam the next day? you will always have me wrapped around the end of your finger.

9. You're pretty amazing. you make me laugh when no one else can and when the world is pissing the hell out of me I know I can tell you anything and you'll still love me. I know life has never been easy with you, but there's only a little bit longer until we're onto something new, far far away from this place. so hang in there, and bother me whenever you need to kid. but I think you need to figure out who you are. thats the root of half you're problems - you're very unsure of yourself and who you are.

10. I HATE YOU. I hope wherever the hell you are right now, you're thinking of me and all the wrong you did to me in one night. FUCK YOU. I've gotten to the point where I dont think about you every day and hate you and hate myself for my lack of self-control, but every so often I realise that if I ever saw you again I'd probably claw your eyes out.

at home

2006-02-28T18:19:27Z

i was due for an illness - everything was going just a bit too well.

opiumandtea @ 2006-01-04T22:16:00

2006-01-05T03:22:21Z

So I was searching for libertines chords today, to try to learn some songs and when looking at the chords for Never Never, I saw this:

Intro: play A# for a while, until you finish honking on your crackpipe...

And then I laughed so hard I snorted.

SAM GAJOS IS BACK FROM MEXICO. OMGZ I LOVE HER.

opiumandtea @ 2005-12-23T19:47:00

2005-12-24T01:15:47Z

Ahhhhhhhhh today was crazy! Ms Murphy was singing to us in first period, and we watched some stupid Spongebob show instead of anime (omgz I'm so hooked on that one series now because of Mr Shanahan, but he wont let us watch anymore!@#$#@$) in religion and in french Ms. Cachia made us sing french Christmas songs and I couldn't sing any of them cause I didn't know how they were supposed to be sung, so I just said the words in my own melody lolz.

After that I had to go down to the music room to warm up for guitar. Oh man I'm terrible. But I'm the only grade 11 so none of them can say anything ha ha ha. Which reminds me, Caroline gave me a card and it said "To Laura and Brutus" and I was like XDDD cause Brutus (my guitar) and Senor Sanchez (that's Caroline's guitar) are in love. Well no, Brutus is in love with Senor Sanchez, but the Senor is only in it for the sex.

AND THEN IT WAS THE X-MAS SHOW!!!! Lolz and guitar was on first and we kind of sucked cause we all played wayyyyyyyy too fast, but whatever, that meant we were done sooner. So me and Caroline went and put our guitar away and sat near Amanda and Jessica Pang and made jokes and did that knee thing that's super ticklish.

Mr. Bernardo is the best pig in the world! He and Mr. Sanader were far too funny. I can't believe he started rubbing his belly and then Mr. B rolled over onto his back. LOL and the grade 12 skit was so funny too. They had Mr. Vink done really good with the girl on the other girl's shoulders and the backpack. And I loved how Mr. Burghardt's character would just prance around with a guitar every so often. And Ms. Galuoppo made me lol too. But the MC's skits were kinda lame. Awww and the teacher's dancing was kinda cute actually. But scary, cause Mr. Nak is really really good.

Ummm then I went home and listened to the CD Sarah gave me, and I was kinda half asleep and trying to take a nap and then out of nowhere Time For Heroes came on and it kinda made me cry cause the Libertines haven't been an official band for over a year now and TFH was always one of my fav, if not my favorite song of theirs and I don't know. Its been succcch a long week and I feel so tired cause I never sleep anymore especially now since my sister's home and wakes me up and bitches at me about how I'm on her side of the bed or whatever. fldskajflk. And everyone got me gifts and I didn't get anyone any cause I didn't think I was going to get any and now I feel stupid and have to find gifts for everyone. And I know I'm going to spend all of break listening to the Libertines cause that's what I did last year and last year was so much happier and fun and bellllllllejklfls. Ahhhh this entry is over cause if I dont finish it now I'll start saying how I miss last year (which I do.)!!

EDIT: PATRICK WOLF OWNS MY RIGHT OVARY.

opiumandtea @ 2005-10-14T20:12:00

2005-10-15T03:26:15Z

i'm not a slut.
i dont know how i ended up on a date with a guy i didn't like tonight.
he asked me to give him a blowjob and i said no.
so he said to act like the slut he knew i was.
i like how when you refuse to suck someone's cock you're a slut.
but fuck, if you do, you're just a great fucking time.

from this day forth

2005-09-12T20:49:45Z

Comment to be added.

opiumandtea @ 2005-09-11T15:15:00

2005-09-11T19:48:24Z

Friday Deanne and I had our first ever Strokes party. It was very lol. My brother Matt came into my room, and gave us funny looks and I was like "we're playing dress up." cause Deanne was wearing my skirt as a dress and scarves and hats and so was I and we had lots of makeup on and looked very funny. And we kept spilling diet coke everywhere. And when we went to buy food we got locked out and gorged on whip cream and cookies and Deanne ate her baby food, lolz. It was just very very very funny. Deanne hung out of my window, and took a shower in her clothes and rollerbladed around my room and I sat there and laughed and sang the Strokes and the Libertines really loud. Except Deanne passed out at 10 30. Party pooper.

Then yesterday we went downtown. We saw some little girl get attacked by a pigeon. awww. THEN! We met Roisin and Clare and their cousins (omgz IRISH ACCENTS ARE GREAT EVEN IF I DONT KNOW WHAT THEY'RE ACTUALLY SAYING) and decided to go to Kensington Market. Poor Daniel, he waited outside most of the shops for us. I bought ~~a corset and~~the first White Stripes cd. And then we went into the army surplus store and KLEWDJFSAKLDFKLSD WE FOUND EXACT LIBERTINES JACKETS AND I WANT ONE SO FUCKING BAD. AND IF I CAN GET ONE BY HALLOWEEN DEANNE AND I ARE GOING TO BE PETE AND CARL LOLZ. Um, then we walked back to Queen and Deannathor and I got obnoxious and started poking everyone, and Daniel kept running ahead of us and I couldn't stop giggling. I found a cool poncho for 38$ in Circa Forty and put it on hold.

Later, after we parted from Roisin and co., we got fries and sat around Nathan Philip Square feeding pigeons. We had just missed the train when we got to Union so we had like an hour to wait and went to sit in the lobby at the Royal York. Then we went round back and made friends with this cool horse named Daniel James. He was white and liked hay. Then we waited around the train station and played the Libertines and watched the curly-haired boy look lost.

And there's load of stuff I'm missing here, but yeah, it was fun. It was more fun then like, my entire summer put together. Next weekend is Art on Queen, a film festival movie and hopefully Ear To The Ground music festival.

OMG THE FRANZ ALBUM IS FOOOKING AMAZING. AND OMG AFTER DEANNE LEFT LAST NIGHT I WAS WATCHING TV AND I SAW THE GOLDEN DOGS. THEY WERE PLAYING ELEVATOR. NO LIES. LMFAO.

opiumandtea @ 2005-08-30T12:19:00

2005-08-30T16:22:34Z

some days I just really fucking hate certain people.

OMGZDEANNEISCOMINGOVERLOLZZZ

2005-08-23T17:57:20Z

K, SO I CAME TO EDIT THE LOOK OF MY JOURNAL. BUT NOW IT LOOKS UGLY CAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO ANYTHING.

so does anyone want to fix it? (OMGZ DO YOU WANT TO???)

I
AM
SUPER
EXCITED
AND
CAPLOCKS
IS
STUCK.

AND I DONT KNOW WHY I'M SO EXCITED BECAUSE I SHOULD BE MAD OR UPSET CAUSE SOME PEOPLE JUST ARENT NICE BUT ITS OK.

OMGZ DEANNE IS COMING OVER AND WE'RE GONNA PAINT AND SHE'S GONNA DO MY HAIR (OMGZ THATS SCARY) AND STAY OVER AND WE'RE GONNA BE UP ALL NIGHT.

I'M ACTUALLY ALLOWED TO GO TO FRANZ FERDINAND. LIKE OMGZZZZZZ X 4754385908432594309BILLION. SWEET.

ITS ALMOST OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

2005-08-03T18:35:36Z

Ok, I have three minutes to update because I promised myself that I'd go study at 230 for my exam till my brain dropped out of my head.

Um um umumumumdsuflasjdhf. Math is almost over for the rest of my life. No more x-values and y-values and solving equations and pi and radiuses and all that other crap. Besides, I learned nothing as I was too busy contemplating whether or not to yank on Alex's curls cause they looked so cute. But what I did learn is that I like when people think I'm just SO COOL and hang on to every useless thing I say about movies, music, art, etc. It's very very good for my ego. But I don't like when they think I'm in a band with them, with the terrible position of percussionist to top it off. Please, at least make me a groupie. I also learned that binge smoking anything due to worries over math makes me not want to eat and thus lose weight. So the world turns.

Zomg, the Subways are my new favorite band.

Lalalalalalalalalalala. I can't wait for summer to really begin. Except there's weird men making a crapload of noise as they destroy my kitchen. This means that I'm going to spend the next month stalking people and painting in the garage.

Ok, I should go study. Ugh, je n'aime pas les maths.

opiumandtea @ 2005-08-01T13:05:00

2005-08-01T17:09:16Z

lalalalalalala, I have a funny burn all over, cause someone doesn't know how to put sunscreen on, or wake me up after a half hour when I tell them to wake me up after a half hour so that I don't burn.

I want to do something today, but I don't know where anyone is. *sad face*

So instead I made another movie. This one's really short cause I'm running out of clips to use (but it does include Deanne Stuck In A Tree again cause I fooking love that).

http://s42.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3CQABFY5D0SYT3PN4O543R2MDE

I A-M H-Y-P-E-R

2005-07-29T01:38:23Z

Sam and I stalked Alex ce soir. Hahahahhah, I was all like "I KNOW WHERE HE LIVES" then I didnt, so we rollerbladed around mississauga road for forever and a half and then went to tim hortons and got rejected by the drive-thru. We're gonna do the same thing tomorrow, except go kidnap Fiona, and Alex and lots of people, and then go jump into Sam's pool. Everyone is invited.

bang
b a n g
b - a - n - g

Spanish pigeons have homicidal motives against mankind.

I want a haircut. Even though I just got one last week. I don't like it. I'll let anyone cut my hair, and dye it.

This summer's not that exciting. Someone fall in love with me, now.

EDIT: Today I went to the library, and I was watching this movie on Oscar Wilde, and the narrator was saying how the earliest letter of his was to his mum when he was 13 and at school. He asked her to send his red shirt and his LILAC one too. The narrator proceeded to point out that at an early age Oscar was already a DANDY and I almost pissed myself.

DOUBLEEDIT:ALEX LIKES OSCAR WILDE TOO. AND HE STARRED IN THE SCHOOL PLAY. AND HE WENT TO THE SAME DRAMA CAMP AS ME AND KEEPS SAYING QUEER. AND ITS MAKING ME GIGGLE LIKE MAD.

opiumandtea @ 2005-07-21T16:32:00

2005-07-21T20:34:42Z

K, so two summers ago I was in the States, staying with my grandpa for a while, and one day I was going through my uncle Mike's old trunk and I found this piece of paper with this written on it:

Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak you truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have a story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are a vexation to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not stress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep at peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Strive to be happy.

and I thought I'd just post it, well cause I wanted to. I had copied it out and took it home. I miss Mike.

opiumandtea @ 2005-07-19T21:07:00

2005-07-20T01:22:12Z

I'm angry tonight. And I hadn't meant to be angry tonight. Now I'm angry at today, and yesterday and tomorrow. I'm angry because I know I won't study for the test that's already waiting for me to fail. I'm angry because I undeleted this journal. I'm angry because of all the stupid spineless people out there that are turning me into a stupid spineless person. I'm angry because at first I hated my haircut, and now I like it but it'll never look this good again. I'm angry because I've been so stupid all year long and now there's no way to fix anything at all. I'm angry because everyone's changed and because Ernie's moving far far away and I'll never see him again. I'm angry because I can't seem to understand math, or paint, or draw anything properly anymore. I'm angry because I know everyone will read this and pass over it and never say anything, cause that's what we do isn't it? So I'll save myself the heartache and disable the comments.

opiumandtea @ 2005-07-09T18:21:00

2005-07-09T22:39:52Z

Ok um, so I don't think I'll be around here much anymore, or really on the computer either. So if you think I'm ignoring you or something, I'm not, I just think I'm going to be a little busier from now on so I won't really have time for LJ or msn and the like. You all know my number, and I'll be seeing most of you from time to time anyways, so yeah. Oi and Gen, I got your letter, I'll be writing you one soon.

I got to see Kalan Porter and Feist on the Hill on Canada Day in Ottawa

Went over to Sarah's house on Monday

Started summer school and acted like a sly fox with Sarah

(apparently Sarah has a thing for foreign summer school math teachers)

Went to her house after school

AND THEN WENT TO BSS LAST NIGHT AND MET KEILA AND NEV AND LAUREN AND HER FRIENDS!!!